starbum

Hi,

I've come to this forum for some time now and you guys have always been able to help guide me through my troubles. I now have to come to you again.

I havnt had the best of a life concerning relationships. I've had a girlfriend that died, and every relationship I have been in....I've been cheated on. 7 relationships, every one left me heartbroken and hurt.

Right now im involved with a girl that I want to stay with; but im running into a wall. My past. Im so scared of her cheating on me or hurting me that I cant open up to her. I cant be happy because im always worried. I used to be extremely happy with her and everything was wonderful. But then school got in the way and she had to push me to the side; and I feel she hasnt paid much attention to me. I understand her circumstances; but I hate to be alone and it doesnt feel she's been trying to give me attention. But, school is almost over and she says she'll pay alot more attention to me and stuff. But there is a huge problem with me... in the time that she's been distracted from me, I've started to become worried and now im consumed by it.

For instance, she's going with a few of her girlfriends to a "beach week", and originally I was invited, but then I got "uninvited" and stuff. Now im scared she's going to go on beach week, flirt around and eventually cheat on me.

Its like I have no trust in her.

And I guess I dont. She hasnt done much of anything to warrant my mistrust of her, which leads me to the conclusion that my problem is with my past. Im so scared of being hurt again that its keeping me away from letting her go have fun with her friends and consuming me with jealousy, fear, and worry. I've tried talking with her about my worries and she says she'll keep me in mind, and she even asked me what I would approve and dissaprove of her doing on beach week, so she'd know for 100% certain what not to do. But that didnt help. I felt better for that night, but the next day I was just as worried and consumed as I was as if she never asked. What is wrong with me?

I dont know what to do. I know I have to confront my past and get over it...but I dont know how. I dont know how to do it. How do I get over my past before it ruins my future?

Please, please help. This is tearing me apart and I dont know where to begin. How do I confront and move on with a girl who cheated on me that died of cancer? How do I get past all the other times I've been betrayed?

My ego has been destroyed, my confidence has always been low, and im falling apart from the inside. Even though I treated all of those girls good, they betrayed me. One of them even cheated on me while I was on the phone with her! The fuckwad was eating her out when I was goddamned fucking talking with her. It pisses the ever loving shit out of me. GRAGH.


You can tell im very emotional about this.

Please, can anyone help? Has anyone been cheated on like this? How did you move on?