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Originally posted by Jennteel
I need some advice from other parents out there. My daughter is 13 and we are now going through the "wanting a boyfriend" stage. She is pretty independant and mature but I am so not comfy with this idea. I have told her NO and as far as I can tell she has respected that. She does not like it and at times will cry about it. We argue because she does not see my point. When I was 13 I was having sex already and had her when I was 16. I do not want this road for her. She says she is not into sexual things and I do believe her. But all children get curious at one point or another. I told her I would think about it, but I don't think my feelings will change. I do not want to open the door to new emotions for her. But I also don't want to be an uptight mom that always says no to everything. She really likes one boy in particluar. He was a problem boy in the neighborhood but has been straightening up. The other issue I have is he is not white and I am not sure that I feel comfy with intermixed relationships with such young people. I don't mean to offend anyone by saying that, I'm just not sure how to feel right now. Any advice is much appreciated.
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Look at the culture we live in. It's absolutly no suprise she wants a boyfriend. My little sister is 9 and she allready has one.
There are two ways you can approach this one:
1. Lock her in her room. Refuse to let her act on her feelings.
2. Be supportive. Teach about sex and it's consequences. Be real and upfront with her, tell her about your own experiences.
I believe #2 is the only way to go. What's better: your daughter doing something behind your back or with your own wisdom.
My mother told me when I turned 13 she would buy me all the alcohol I wanted, as long as I drank in our own house.
I ended up having 2 drinks outside of my home in highschool. Since it wasn't taboo for me, it wan't that big of a deal. THe same applies to above.