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Kidnapped bride
A recently married husband comes home one day to find that his bride has disappeared. Worried, he quickly gathers his friends and searches for his wife with no success. Then, miracle of miracles, the man walks into his kitchen two days later and there she is. Full of joy, he asks where she has been.
"These four men kidnapped me and made me have wild sex with them for a week," she replies.
"What do you mean a week?" the husband asks. "It's only been two days."
"Right," the wife says. "I'm just here to get something to eat."
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This next one is short, so i'll tack it onto this thread rather than start a new one...
A mom is cleaning the house when she finds her son's stash of S&M magazines. Troubled by the discovery, she shows the bondage mags to her husband and asks, "What should we do?"
"I don't know," he responds. "But I'm pretty sure you shouldn't spank him."
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If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten
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