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I think as long as your are not spanking because you are angry, then it's OK. I watch a friend with one of her hellions, and she tries to "reason" with this child. Now you know Heather, you really shouldn't be doing that. I'd call bullshit on it-- she's 3 - no she doesn't know, I don't think a three year old has the ability to reason - -Give her a swat on the butt -- teach her that ignoring direction from parents has consequences.
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Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.
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