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I thought we all had this, but I guess I was wrong. Here's an example. I play for my schools baseball team. For some reason, I am horrified of fly balls. Luckily for me, we are short in outfielders so I have to play outfield. I practice, i watch videos, I learn techniques. As soon as I hit the field, it's like I lose the power over my mind, and I am scared to death again. I've read a bunch of self help books and I know that it's suicide to keep thinking negative thoughts about yourself, but no matter how ahrd I try, I can't move on from whatever negative thought my mind wants to play over and over. This is just an example, as it happens in a much wider range. I don't feel like I have any control over myself mentally. Fear plays a huge role in my life, and no matter what I read, or actions I take, I can't make myself overcome it. At first I thought maybe it was a lack of self esteem/confidence. But I am pretty damn confident in myself. But the "other" mental part of me doesn't seem to have any confidence in me. I get intimdated so easily, even if i don't show it.
I was shopping at a grocery store a couple days ago, I stepped away from my cart to go get some frozen food, and as I am coming back, i see this dude taking stuff from my cart, and putting it in his. Without even a second thought, i approached him, asked him what the hell he was doing, and got him to put all my stuff back. 3 mins later my "other" side starts playing these negative images like I pissed the guy off, and he's going to slash my tires and etc. Just stupid stuff that doesn't belong nor make sense. No matter how hard I try, I can't stop these ridiculous negative thoughts. I hope this makes more sense and I could gt some input from you guys.
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