If the 1000 were going to die regardless of my choice, I choose the 1000.
Would you rather...
Masturbate at your place of employment, in full view of your co-workers?
or
Have sex with someone with weeping sores on their genitals?
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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke
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