Rodney

I'd say he's a user, and leave it at that. He wants to use others to gain success, and he wants to use you and Ratbastid to help him get into position to meet his goals. A good user will unhestatingly ask anything of anyone, without shame. He wants you to help him find the right church, help him learn to play a social game so he can fit in...

The problem I have with users is that most of them see _everybody_ in light of what they can get from them. I've only known a few who can separate friends from business. I tend to keep people like this at a distance because, somehow, although they find much to ask for they don't often find much to give back.

There's nothing in the Bible that says, "Thou shalt not use." But you can definitely look at a person and say, "That person sees people as individuals," or "That person sees people as means to an end." Then decide whether that's a good person to have in your life, or not.

As for judging -- sure, we should. all the time. What we owe to others is to make informed, thoughtful judgments. I can look at a friend who's killing himself with drugs and say, "Well, he seems happy and he's made his decision; who am I to judge." Or I can say, "He's out of control, and I'm getting him into treatment." I might be right or wrong in either case. But if I honestly believe that he needs help, _I'm_ a whore, sliding through life just giving people what they want instead of what they need, if I decide it's too hard to try. I might end up losing a friend or getting people angry at me. But if I honestly believe it's the right thing to do -- and am willing to constantly reevaluate what I'm doing, just in case -- then I've got to.