|
Chris: Dad, what's the blowhole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.
____________________
Lois: Peter I’m sure you would have been a great mother if you had the chance.
Peter: You think so?
Lois: I know so.
[Lois leaves, Peter picks up Stewie from the crib, opens his shirt and places Stewie’s mouth on his nipple. Stewie begins sucking then realizes there’s something wrong and wakes up. Stewie pulls a hair out of his mouth and looks up at Peter before cringing in horror over sucking Peter’s nipple.]
I have never laughed harder than when I first saw that scene.
________________
Stewie: Oh Mother, I come bearing a gift. I’ll give you a hint, it’s in my diaper and it’s not a toaster.
_________________
Peter: Oh. My God, that reminds me I’ve got to give myself a breast exam. Uh-oh, uh-oh, a lump, oh god, OH GOD! Nope, Cheeto.
[Peter walks away eating the cheeto.]
_________________
Quagmire: Don’t worry Lois, I’d do everything to you.
Lois: What?
Quagmire: I’d do anything for you.
_________________
Peter speaking to a crowd of black people: I’d like to say a couple of truths to the men in this audience. It’s your fault we have so much crime in this country and it’s your fault we have so much violence in this country. You are ruining our society and you should be ashamed.
[Cut to Peter being chased through the streets by a mob angry black people.]
__________________
Aside from my great plans to become the future dictator of the moon, I have little interest in political discussions.
|