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Originally posted by crow_daw When you look back upon all your past decisions and how they got you were you are, it's oftentimes impossible to imagine it any other way. Although, of course it's impossible to do so because the past, and your decisions, can never be changed. But, when you look back and can't imagine things any other way, it becomes very easy to believe in fate, that maybe your choices aren't yours at all, because once they're made, they're made, and there's no changing that. I'm just saying that I can see it from both sides. I am, however, more comfortable with not believing in fate, as I like to believe I'm in control of things.
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Yet, you forget the small decisions you make, and remember the more obvious ones. If you dig down, you find something, though.
When I decided some seven years ago to live in an off-campus dorm over an on-campus, there really wasn't much logical motivation. I was on the waiting list for on-campus, while spots were open outside. I decided I didn't want to wait.
Whom I met there ending up leading directly to whom I ended up dating, and the plot twisted me 400 miles north, minus girlfriend, in a profession in which I'd never before been interested. Journalism: Long, late hours, sometimes asked to come in on holidays and weekends, and relatively low pay. I'd just wanted to be a writer, in some plum dream of hitting the bestseller jackpot and living off of royalties and advances on following books. Not working the corporate 9-5ish. Or working the counter at your local Starbucks, for that matter, or digging ditches, or mounting a revolution in a small, distant country.
So my job is something I'd never been interested in, I'm living in a city I that never caught my eye as a career-long home--and I don't think I'd be <i>commuting</i> to success if it wasn't for that inconsequential mental coin flip. The reasons for that last one are too much to go into here, but, in short, where I live is the prime location in the country, maybe the world, for my kind of work.