* Sorry for the lengthy post, but theres no other way to describe my exact situation
I don't really know if this is the place to present my dilema, but i'll give it a shot and see what happens. I'm having some trouble making some decisions about a relationship i'm in, maybe some of you can give me some insight.
Just for a little background, I've been dating this girl for 1 year and 7 monthes, shes an assertive, no-bullshit type of girl, very stubborn, and im an easy going guy but can be extremely stubborn when i get pushed beyond my patience or if things arent going swell for me. Shes my best friend ever, and we've been seeing eachother since sophomoore year and we're about to graduate in a few weeks, which brings up the problem, prom.
We went to our junior year prom together, and basically it was a big heap of crap, i had let her know before hand that im not a dancing kind of guy, but she said that was ok, and that we can just slow dance and what not. So we get there and she basically blows up at me for not dancing with her, and we dont talk for the rest of the night, if we do, its bitter, waste of 350 bucks, heh. So we come to our senior year prom, and we have to make the decision if we want to go together or not, remembering what happened the previous year.
We both could have gone either way at first, but then we decided maybe it wasn't the best idea to go with eachother, to risk turning it into hell night again. So, me not being a dancing guy, decide to make other plans to go to a karate tournament, and i let her know that was what my plans were, and she was cool with it. Suprisingly enough, a few days later she calls me and sounds desperate and says that she had a change of heart, and since its senior prom, she wants to go with me now. So, weighing losing the opportunity to participate in this tournament, and the horrible time we had last year, i told her that i'd go with her, but on one condition, that she get a dress that matches a red tux, because i was dieing to get one, lol. I told her that i'd ONLY go with her if she got something to match my red tux, because i had a feeling she was playing games with me at that point.
So, she agrees, and a few days later comes back with a dress that is pink, and my suspicions were true, she was just tryin to see what i'd do about it. So, thinking about last year, i told her that i wasn't going to go with her because she couldnt give me this little thing that i wanted, and after what she did last year she didnt deserve it. So we agreed that we weren't going with eachother, and she told me she was going with her girlfriends, and i specifically made it clear that i didn't want her to take any guys, jelousy factor or whatever, she'd do the same thing to me.
So, she agreed, and low and behold, she comes to me a few days later telling me that shes taking a guy to prom from her work named TNT. Wow. You can imagine my delight. A guy that i don't even know or have met before, and his name is frickin' TNT, omg. Anyways, i didnt think that was right for her to do, the way i see it is that people that care for eachother dont do things like that on purpose to make them mad.
I told her how much i didn't want her to do that, kept bringing it up, and pretty much just told her that my reaction wasnt going to be good if she went through with this, so eventually i just told her that i was going to split up with her if she did it. Apparently Going to prom with this guy was more important than holding onto our relationship, i told her that i more than wanted her to go to prom, just not with this guy, she could go with girlfriends or whatever.
All along, shes being really nice to me, even nicer than normal, and telling me how much she loves me, and just being perfect besides this situation, but she is adamant about going to prom with this guy. So after a week of telling her im going to end it if she decides to go with him, i eventually break up with her, and she is devastated. I told her that she brought this on herself, and that if i let her get away with this one thing, that she'd take advantage and walk all over me, which she would do in a heartbeat.
The few days leading up to prom she kept calling me and saying that she doesnt want to break up, but shes still going to prom with this guy, and now prom is over (last weekend) and she called me today telling me how its all my fault that we broke up and all this crap, yelling at me and making big arguements. My origional plan was just to break up with her for a month or so just to show her that i was serious about this, and hope that she learns her lesson, but now shes totally changed her outlook about the problem, i know shes still crushed because of losing me, and that all that is probably just a front, but i dont know if its even worth it to try to mend the break up.
I guess my dilema is that i don't know if i was wrong to break up with her, if i was being too jelous or too stubborn, or even if i handled any of this right. its just gotten so far into it and snowballed so much that i dont even know whats happening anymore. I do care for her a lot, but i dont know if it'd be best if we got back together anyways because of our clashing bullheadedness, or if what she did was really bad at all. Shes my best friend in the world, and it really sucks that all this happened, but i just was hoping to get an outside point of view on this before i go any farther.
sometimes i think i've taken it to far, sometimes i think that im all right and shes wrong for doing what she did. Thanks to anyone who actually read this book of a post, and i appreciate any advice/points of view. Thanks.
-Phil