i had/have many of the same questions you have and no direction or seeable "first step" to solving any of them until i read
the 7 habits of highly effective people by stephen r. covey a few weeks ago. while i still have some of the same questions, i at least feel like i have some direction now and am on the way to reshaping my life into something that i can consider 'successful'.
the great thing about this book is that it's not a "quick fix" type thing. instead it takes aim at our inner character and principles and teaches us how to center our lives around those and take control of our "circle of influence" as he calls it.
hope this helps you on your way.
