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What the hell do I want?
I seem to be stuck right now, not really happy with my life. I don't love my job, I don't feel fulfilled, I feel miles away from where I thought I would be when I thought about my life as a teenager, or in college. I don't always feel like I'm living in a way that's consistent with my ideals, but I'm not sure which of those ideals are worth sacrificing for, and which are just unrealistic. I have conflicting impulses - for example, the desire to live a creative, bohemian life, vs. the desire to have enough money to travel and be comfortable. I'm not really sure which impulses are really "mine" and which ones come from trying to overcome some perceived deficiency in myself. (For example, wanting to be seen as "successful," or trying to "redeem myself" for the fact that I don't plan to have kids.)
How do you tell who you are, and what you really want, intuitively and truly, as opposed to doing things because they're easy or expected of you or habitual, or motivated by fear?
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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