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bermuDa · 05-11-2004, 02:40 AM

interesting theory, and I think in some cases it holds water... but it definitely can't be universally applied.

The main assumption of your hypothesis is that both parties are raised in american culture. Most of the stereotypes that you've mentioned regard asian women who are raised in an asian culture, or the perception of such women.

Some of the least quiet, modest and submissive women I know are US born asians. Some of the most irresponsible men I know are white.

I am dating a 100% japanese woman, who was raised in japan and has only been here since february. The submissiveness you mentioned is probably the least desirable trait evident from her upbringing. I encourage her to be assertive; I hate it when I hear "whatever you'd like" when I ask for an opinion.

She is very smart and enjoys learning, but that's more a product of the japanese school system, that teaches the kids to work hard; whereas the american school system alienates children from learning and is sadly more of a hit-or-miss system.

basically, I think that stereotypes and attitudes towards people of other ethnic backgrounds are just a meme that's absorbed from family and peers. It doesn't matter what culture you come from, we all have preconcieved notions about people who are not like us, until we actually get to know them and the nuances of individuals within that group (which is where a lot of those interracial/intercultural relationships arise). Being attracted to a person's physical traits is a matter of preference, but seeking them out for those traits is just as single-minded as avoiding that person for the same reason.

05-11-2004, 02:40 AM	#3 (permalink)
bermuDa don't ignore this--> Location: CA	interesting theory, and I think in some cases it holds water... but it definitely can't be universally applied. The main assumption of your hypothesis is that both parties are raised in american culture. Most of the stereotypes that you've mentioned regard asian women who are raised in an asian culture, or the perception of such women. Some of the least quiet, modest and submissive women I know are US born asians. Some of the most irresponsible men I know are white. I am dating a 100% japanese woman, who was raised in japan and has only been here since february. The submissiveness you mentioned is probably the least desirable trait evident from her upbringing. I encourage her to be assertive; I hate it when I hear "whatever you'd like" when I ask for an opinion. She is very smart and enjoys learning, but that's more a product of the japanese school system, that teaches the kids to work hard; whereas the american school system alienates children from learning and is sadly more of a hit-or-miss system. basically, I think that stereotypes and attitudes towards people of other ethnic backgrounds are just a meme that's absorbed from family and peers. It doesn't matter what culture you come from, we all have preconcieved notions about people who are not like us, until we actually get to know them and the nuances of individuals within that group (which is where a lot of those interracial/intercultural relationships arise). Being attracted to a person's physical traits is a matter of preference, but seeking them out for those traits is just as single-minded as avoiding that person for the same reason. __________________ I am the very model of a moderator gentleman. Last edited by bermuDa; 05-11-2004 at 02:50 AM..