KnifeMissile, I think what most people are trying to get across is that intentions matter. It seems like you're saying they don't. For example, If a man called an escort service, the girl got to his room, and then the vice squad bursts in, I'd consider that he cheated. It doesn't matter that he never got to touch the escort, that was his clear intention. You seem to be saying that that's ok, as long as nothing actualy happened.
People aren't saying that it's not ok to break up. They aren't even saying it's not ok to break up because you meet someone else. The problem comes up with this:
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and for the possibility of seeing if there is 'something' there?????
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To me, that's asking if it's ok to keep your current mate as a backup while you secretly audition others for the role, 'just in case' things don't work out with the other 'applicants'. If you or your partner feel that you are in a commited relationship, it's assuredly wrong to actively practice this type of behavior behind the others back. That's just basic human decency.