doncalypso

Ladies and gentlemen of TFP I have a little situation and wanted to find out what you guys think I should do.

My girlfriend of two and a half years has let herself slack between when we first met and now. I still love her very much, but she's gained 50 pounds and is way out of shape (she was one hell of a vixen when I first met her), but the worse part is that despite all of her complaining about her having gained weight and not feeling attractive anymore is that she is doing nothing whatsoever to get her ass back in shape.

She refuses to go to the gym, she eats way too much, and then she accuses me of being immature and selfish for not feeling sexually attracted to her anymore and argues that if a man loves a woman he should find her sexy even if she were to gain 300 pounds---I can't believe anyone would fool themselves into believing such bullshit.

Like I said... I love her very much, but I am starting to reach a point where I can't take it anymore. She places this burden upon me to make her feel sexy and desirable, but yet she's unwilling to do anything to maintain herself, and she expects me to provide for all of her self-esteem needs without complaining or noticing that she's let herself go.

I hate to admit this, but back when she and I started dating I pretty much stopped noticing other women. But two and a half years (and 50 pounds later) I find myself looking at other women more often, and that bothers me.
I have no intentions of cheating on my girlfriend just because she doesn't turn me on anymore, and I always make sure I avoid any sort of situation where the temptation to cheat might arise, but it's really bugging me and I am starting to wonder if this means it's time to end the relationship.

I hate to sound and seem shallow, especially if two and a half years with someone I love were to come to an end over a weight issue. But I'm just sick and tired of hearing her complain day in and day out about her weight but yet do absolutely nothing about it. I'm tired of her nagging me that I don't make her feel sexy and don't tell her she turns me on anymore when she's not willing to lift even a finger to maintain some sort of desirable physique to turn me on.
Hell... I know I've gained some weight over the four years I've been in college, and I know I've gotten out of shape. But during the summer I hit the gym, and during the regular semester even though I don't have time to go to the gym I still watch what I eat and walk my way everywhere around town and campus in order to get some sort of exercise.

I just don't get how some women can come to a man whining about their problems but then aren't willing to lift a finger to do anything about it and end up snapping back when he offers a potential solution.


I guess it all boils down to what's gonna happen this summer. If she keeps on eating like a horse, piling the pounds, and expect me to find her sexy while she does nothing to maintain herself then I'll have to call it quits because I can't take that shit anymore. I didn't get into a relationship to become someone's sole reservoir of self-esteem, and it hurts me deeply when just about every friend I have who knows her has told me at one point or another "...man, you could have done so much better..." when talking about her---especially when it comes from people who knew her when she and I first started dating and used to constantly point out how hot she looked back then.


So?... what would you do if you were in my shoes?
If you were with someone for that long and they felt no need to maintain their physique in order to sexually attract you (and they refused to do anything to correct the situation and insist you should find them sexy no matter what if you truly love them) what would you do? Would you keep your mouth shut and watch them physically get worse with no hope of them ever trying to make themselves physically attactive again? Or would you leave them if they refused to shape up?

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Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation