going down on a chick (or a male i guess) is basically about reading your partner. Pay attention to their body language, if they moan, then keep doing what you're doing, if they go silent for a bit, then try something different, that's how i communicate with my partner. I normally have my hands running on his head though, through the hair, so if i pull him towards me, he goes faster and more intense.
Basically we've trained each other and know what we like and don't like, it's just about being comfortable with that person i guess.
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