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Old 05-03-2004, 01:02 AM   #1 (permalink)
KellyC
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Location: Home sweet home
[Another] set of rules for the Ladies!

-if she doesn't agree with you, tell her to shut up
-if she's fat, she better da.mn well be the nicest, sweetest, most lovable person ever
-sucking on a lollipop gives me a boner...popsicle works better, it moisterizes ur mouth
-braces and pigtails gives you a boost of 1 point on my scale
-wear see-through pants, it helps me see better...see a better shot of ur butt
-viagra will never work as good as a girl's hands
-don't ever let anyone tell you that it's wrong to make out with a girl. It is morally wrong NOT to make out with another girl
-please stick your finger in your mouth...that looks like a smaller version of my penis...therefore it turns me on
-When drinking, remember to spill some on your shirt, preferably a white cotton shirt, You have no idea how much that pleases us!!
-Cooking naked with an apron on is very sexy
-Fixing a car naked is also very sexy, you don't have to know how to fix a car, the mere sight that you're naked and dirty from the oils from the car is already a god send.
-If you're ever with your girlfriend(s) and are in the presence of a couple guys, feel free to bicker with one another and recreate the cat fight scene from the Miller Beer commercial.
-For every nice things your boyfriend did for you, you owe him either: a) a complete meal of a sandwich, beer and porn b) sex c) let him have a "guys night out"
--we can fart in front of you...but please dont fart in front of us that is digusting and will not be tolerated girls
-NEVER nag your boyfriend infront of his friends, you don't know how much pain you've inflicted upon him when doing so.
--if you have dirty laundry and we come over, please hid it under your bed or in your closet...better yet...go wash it...we dont want to smell or see that
-doing laundry naked is also very sexy
-If you're going to make a big fuss over something, tell us what it is!!
-When it's raining, please go outside and play.
-Please don't cuddle after sex, I'm exhausted and I just want to go to sleep
-walking around the house with a jersey on and nothing else is very sexy, please do that!
-if you want nice things from us, you have to give us a GOOD reason why you deserve it.
-Don't complain that I'm "fast" or "small" just be glad that I'm with you. You're not a porn star, neither am I, so I see no reason for that kind of sex.
-We are not very bright, everything you say will be taken at face value. If we don't understand something, blame youself for not communicating effectively
-Everything we say will also need to be taken at face value. Don't bother to analyze what we've said.
-Please warn us at least ONE DAY before you have a "talk" with us, we need that much time to physically and emotionally prepare ourselves.
-do not...AND I REPEAT.....DO NOT feed us in front of our friends! That kind of behavior is strictly private!
-Behind every man is a loving woman, you're there to give us support, NOT to be a pain in our ass.
-If you don't understand our fetishes with lesbian porn, just think that way about your fetishses with shoes.
-If you love us, then you'll forgive us not matter what our mistakes are. .............As we will to you

__________________

By: KellyC and Khuct
(Khuct is a new member here )
__________________
Him: Ok, I have to ask, what do you believe?
Me: Shit happens.

Last edited by KellyC; 05-03-2004 at 01:17 AM..
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