Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - How can I find out 'who I am' and be comfortable with what I find?

idiono · 05-01-2004, 01:22 PM

I wasn't sure what to expect when I clicked on this thread but now I'm glad I did. It seems like I have a lot of things on common with what you're saying, RelaX. I've had the same type of experiences with not feeling like you know who you are, feeling like you have to emulate and adapt to others personalities, and taking those personality tests (I'm an INTJ) to try and help you figure it out, and I feel like I have helped myself found out a lot more about myself in recent years (I just turned 20), so please take my advice seriously here.

As far as the emulation of others goes, this is something I discovered when I was about 8 or 9 years old, and it confused me for a little while. After much thought and consideration on this, I eventually came to realize that we are all a mixture of the people we meet in our lives, at least to some degree. There are certain characteristics about someone you may admire, or things they say or do that you find particularly interesting. I realized that to try and reproduce these traits, or to strive to be and act more like them is a perfectly normal thing to do, and is one of the best forms of flattery. But on the other hand I can see this possibly going too far, to the point where you lose sight of yourself and your own personality. Something that might help you with this is to actually sit down and think about things you do or enjoy that are fairly unique to you, things that don't necessarily 'make you who you are,' but can give you a good idea what it is you like that other people may not. Using myself as an example, I can break this idea down like this:

I absolutely love playing frisbee golf
I'm a very good, safe driver
My favorite movies are Office Space, Donnie Darko, and Fight Club
I like wearing clothes that are blue because it matches my eyes
I love Subarus, especially Imprezas
Etc. etc.

Now although these are things that make me unique and different from other people, they are not things that make me 'who I am.' But still, defining your preferences in life and being proud of your opinions is a big step in figuring out your own personality, and furthering yourself from seeming so similar to others while you're around them. After all, there is no such thing as arguing opinions, because opinions are just that. They are not facts, they are ideas and beliefs which cannot be proven or disproven by anyone else, making them unique to you.

I'm not sure that this will solve any of your problem, but I tried, and I hope this advice is helpful to you.

05-01-2004, 01:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
idiono Upright Location: Colorado, USA	I wasn't sure what to expect when I clicked on this thread but now I'm glad I did. It seems like I have a lot of things on common with what you're saying, RelaX. I've had the same type of experiences with not feeling like you know who you are, feeling like you have to emulate and adapt to others personalities, and taking those personality tests (I'm an INTJ) to try and help you figure it out, and I feel like I have helped myself found out a lot more about myself in recent years (I just turned 20), so please take my advice seriously here. As far as the emulation of others goes, this is something I discovered when I was about 8 or 9 years old, and it confused me for a little while. After much thought and consideration on this, I eventually came to realize that we are all a mixture of the people we meet in our lives, at least to some degree. There are certain characteristics about someone you may admire, or things they say or do that you find particularly interesting. I realized that to try and reproduce these traits, or to strive to be and act more like them is a perfectly normal thing to do, and is one of the best forms of flattery. But on the other hand I can see this possibly going too far, to the point where you lose sight of yourself and your own personality. Something that might help you with this is to actually sit down and think about things you do or enjoy that are fairly unique to you, things that don't necessarily 'make you who you are,' but can give you a good idea what it is you like that other people may not. Using myself as an example, I can break this idea down like this: I absolutely love playing frisbee golf I'm a very good, safe driver My favorite movies are Office Space, Donnie Darko, and Fight Club I like wearing clothes that are blue because it matches my eyes I love Subarus, especially Imprezas Etc. etc. Now although these are things that make me unique and different from other people, they are not things that make me 'who I am.' But still, defining your preferences in life and being proud of your opinions is a big step in figuring out your own personality, and furthering yourself from seeming so similar to others while you're around them. After all, there is no such thing as arguing opinions, because opinions are just that. They are not facts, they are ideas and beliefs which cannot be proven or disproven by anyone else, making them unique to you. I'm not sure that this will solve any of your problem, but I tried, and I hope this advice is helpful to you. __________________ werd.