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Old 04-30-2004, 01:18 PM   #53 (permalink)
treericetissue
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kostya
Why would any sane person purchase DIET Pepsi, clearly the most evil beverage known to man, it's like Satan's Urine, except sugar free!

Why you ask, why would a bottle of Diet Pepsi simply burst open, spewing it's horrific bitterness on all and sundry...

This is a job for those people off that show 'Mysterious Ways', since no such thing happens by chance...

Who was besmirched by the sickly artificially 'sweetened' Syrup of Satan? You, your girlfriend and the cashier, namely EVERYONE involved in the transaction...

The Cola Gods were giving you a warning dude, it was Divine CocaProvidence, like in Pulp Fiction...

And yet you chose to ignore that warning, and bought another Bottle 'o' Evil. I can only assume you're a Minion of the Dark Lord now, and your brother too...

Like those evil kids in the Shining...
the diet coke wasn't for lasereth and me. it was for my step dad, thus it wasn't for a sane person to begin with.

secondly, the most spectacular part of the entire story: i didn't get one drop of diet coke on me. lasereth, the cashier, the bagger and the entire candy asile was soaked, but i stood there in amazement without a drop of soda touching me.
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