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Classically, as with Aquinas for example, it was believed that the soul entered the body at 'quickening'; that is, the point of the pregnancy where the fetus began to move. However, I think the church has changed its position on this since we've learned more about how pregnancy works.
Personally, I don't believe in souls, at least not in the traditional sense. So I don't think your definition of murder is correct. So what do we say? Well, let's start with "murder=unjustified killing". It's a good place to start, but it's not enough. It's at least possible that some killings of animals are unjust, but I don't want to say that any killing of an animal is murder. So we could say "murder=unjustified killing of a human being", but that doesn't seem adequate either.
Why not? Well, suppose we met an alien which had intelligence, i.e., an alien which was not merely an extra-terrestrial animal. It seems to me that the unjustified killing of such a creature would be murder. So, if we say preliminarily that "person"="creature with the relevant sort of intelligence" we can say "murder=the unjustified killing of a person".
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"Die Deutschen meinen, daß die Kraft sich in Härte und Grausamkeit offenbaren müsse, sie unterwerfen sich dann gerne und mit Bewunderung:[...]. Daß es Kraft giebt in der Milde und Stille, das glauben sie nicht leicht."
"The Germans believe that power must reveal itself in hardness and cruelty and then submit themselves gladly and with admiration[...]. They do not believe readily that there is power in meekness and calm."
-- Friedrich Nietzsche
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