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Old 04-29-2004, 11:24 AM   #11 (permalink)
BlueBongo
Psycho
 
Location: Tempe,Az....until I figure things out...
Well.. having gone through something sort of like that. He needs to get over his ex and her manipulative ways, that's all there is to it.

He needs to know that his ex can't manipulate him anymore.. and you need to tell him this. Especially if it's been a year. I'm not sure if there are children involved, but if there are I can sort of understand why he being that way. But he just needs to get over it and move on.

You need to talk to him about it and point out that he needs to stop being scared of his ex. If it doesn't happen, then you should probably move on. Sounds kinda harsh, but if he is going to continue, especially after a year of being seperated, to let his ex manipulate him.. then he will never be able to move on and have a future with someone else.

It's hard being in the middle.. especially when "she" (the ex) is around... but ya just gotta tell him to get over it or get out. Now if there are children involved.. the children are most important and he needs to be responsible, but still stand up to his wife and not let her use their children as a pawn in some manipulative chess game she may have going in her head. She will always be the mother of their children, if there are any, but HE can't let her cotinue to use him as a stepping matt.

But I do understand being in the middle of something like that, but we weren't quite that secretive about it.. that I know of. At first it was a lil odd... but that didn't last very long at all.

If he is willing to not let her manipulate him anymore and make a future with you.. then go for it. Otherwise you should probably get out now before the drama gets deeper.
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