Listen, all "unwritten rules" are very simple matters of respect. I couldn't even say any exist, but I suspect sometimes when something falls under a matter of the general "common sense and courtesy" rule, some users may perceive that as an "unwriten rule." Sorry, but we can't make an explicit rule for every imaginable circumstance on the board
To use a few examples (and I'm not picking on you denim, you just mentioned them)...
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[*]Know who is who, and who is married (or whatever they want to call it) to whom so as to avoid stepping on TPTB's toes
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This is not some unwritten rule. If you want to address specifics about this, PM me, but the only time I could see something like this ever becoming an issue is if, say, something inappropriate was said to one person in which case their spouse might do something about it.
For example, onodrim - another super-moderator here - has been my girlfriend for 4 1/2 years. If someone were to say something inappropriate to her on TFP, you're damn right I'll take action on it. However, action would have been taken anyway, the only difference is that perhaps I would be the one taking action. Point being, if ANYONE is made uncomfortable by something someone says to them and they approach a moderator about it, action will be taken as necessary. The only difference when two people might be involved is in WHO takes the action, not the fact that action is taken.
So, in other words, it doesn't matter if you know who's involved in who, it only matters that you are courteous to fellow members.
Like I said, if you want clarification regarding specific circumstances, then feel free to PM me.
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[*]Don't bring up bad issues. What are these issues? If you bring one up, they'll let you know. I mention "tshirt hell" as an example.
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Another instance where this is not an "unwritten rule." An "unwritten rule" implies you'll get in trouble if you bring it up, but that is not the case here. There are VERY VERY VERY few things that are "bad issues" - in fact, I can't think of any - even TShirtHell has been discussed a few times when the thread had actual substance, despite our issue with them. But, if something is a problem, we'll let you know that we've removed it, and we can all just go on our way. There's no official warning for something that is not in the rules and, thus, it generally has no effect on your standing in our eyes. If you bitch about a simple request we make, then perhaps it would be a different story.
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[*]Certain websites are too naughty even for TFP. When you find out which they are, take the advice given to avoid them or pay the price you'll know of for sure only after seeing them.
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Those websites are 1) common internet courtesy and 2) stated in the rules. Goatse, tubgirl, and anything involving something illegal, beastiality, or fecal matter are not allowed. Besides for that, the only other time I can think of when something has been "too naughty for TFP" was in the case of an EXTREME body mutilation post in Off the Wayside. The person was not warned, the thread was simply removed and a PM was sent explaining that the post went a bit beyond the boundaries of the board. Nice and simple, no hard feelings, no reason to not move on.
So, in closing, my point is that, yes there are times (very rarely) when action might be taken on something that is not explicitly forbidden in some way or another in the rules. In those instances, a simple request or explanation of action is sent and there are no hard feelings.
And then, as was the case with the instance that motivated this thread, sometimes it's just a simple matter of a misunderstanding by a mod. We all do it. The thread in question that was removed previously has already been moved back and the situation is rectified. It was off the board for less than 24 hours.
I hope this makes things clear.