I love Jack Chick, such a funny man. As for the Dark Dungeon tract, I have been level 12 for some time and I haven't been taught any spells. I guess I'm going to have to settle for "I, I attack the darkness" and "I want to cast Magic Missle."
My favorite chick quotes are "I don't want to be elfstar anymore. I want to be Debbie" and from the Gomez tract "Tonight we serve you the taco supreme".
The worst tract ever ,in my opinion, is "Lisa":
"LISA" Review! (Art by Carter ©1984.) This has GOT to be the most uncomfortable Chick tract ever written. Not because it's insensitive, but because the topic is SUPER sensitive: Child Molestation-- by the parent! The story follows a jobless, hen pecked husband as he stays at home and watches pornography. His beer bellied next door neighbor comes over to watch with him, then drops a bomb shell: "I know what's going on with (you and your daughter) Lisa... That's pretty juicy gossip. I'll keep quiet, old buddy, if we can share and share alike!" WHOA! The story suddenly kicks into hyper-gear. The very next panel, hen-pecked Henry is catching another bomb shell, this time from his doctor who just ran tests on Lisa. She has Herpes! And she told the doctor how her daddy and his neighbor are to blame! He screams that she is a liar, but the wise old doctor doesn't buy it. Just when you expect the police to arrive and cart Henry off, the doctor launches into a sermon about Jesus and forgiveness. Henry instantly converts (hey, it beats the big house!) and mums the word on daddy's dirty deeds. Henry races home and tells his wife he's saved. She admits she knew about the molestation all along, because her *!%* uncle did the same thing to her (so it's a family tradition). They pray together and tears flood from every eye ball. They call Lisa and we see how young she really is for the first time. It's shocking. She still carries a teddy bear and looks maybe five years old. We're talking MAJOR molestation and rape here, but all seems forgiven. Never mind the incurable child Herpes, or the unrepentant next door neighbor. The important thing is, another saved soul. I must be vindictive, because I wanted to see someone dive into the Lake, or at least get raped in prison. Giving the perp a good dose of AIDS would have been poetic justice. Instead, nobody is punished except the victim. (I guess that's more realistic than most of us like to admit.) This tract is currently out of print, but it's a favorite. Grade: A for Adult Content
http://www.monsterwax.com/chickreviews.html#lisa