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raeanna74 · 04-27-2004, 10:03 AM

I'm the type to talk more than use the hammer so to speak. I think hubby is the other way around. I'm more tolerant that I should be for sure. Hubby can sometimes be too quick to punish. We're both learning to move towards a common medium. I'm trying to be more firm and consistant with punishment. Kids do need consequences at times or they just don't learn. Hubby is trying to take a little slower approach.

The hardest part about this is when hubby gets upset with our daughter and sends to her to room ASAP when I'm trying to talk to her. Usually its when she's gotten to the point of whining and isn't listening to me anyway. I try to step back and let him discipline the way he sees fit. It's hard to let your partner discipline in their own way. As long as they aren't abusing though I see no reason that I should interfer. Hubby doesn't blow up at her really - just puts his foot down. I try to take a lesson from it. There are some times when he'll hear her freaking out over something and I'm dealing with it and not punishing her because of some other circumstance. Such as another child pinched her and she pushed them down or screams at them. He may hear the raised voices and jump in. Usually sending her to her room first. I take the brief chance to tell him of the "extenuating" circumstances and he'll alter his punishment or let her out of her room right away. If nothing it gives both her and us a moment to cool down or decide what the final punishment will be.

No matter what I've learned that I can't call hubby on the carpet for too severe of a punishment right away. If I question his judgement I have to go to him quietly after she is not around and ask his reasoning. Sometimes it will make sense to me and other times I may know of a piece of information that might change his mind. Then I let him go to her to alter the punishment.

We all make mistakes and can sometimes be too harsh or too lenient. I for one will always need to learn how to discipline better. Differing parenting styles comes with the territory of a couple raising children together. My own parents had different styles and yes I figured out who would let me get away with more. When it came down to it though, if it was something more serious they always seemed to provide a unified front. They back each other up. We accepted that Mom was the strict one. It didn't mean to did it all wrong. We just learned not to cross her. I think I had just as much fun with my mom as my dad even though they were different in their styles.

Just my 2c.

04-27-2004, 10:03 AM	#2 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I'm the type to talk more than use the hammer so to speak. I think hubby is the other way around. I'm more tolerant that I should be for sure. Hubby can sometimes be too quick to punish. We're both learning to move towards a common medium. I'm trying to be more firm and consistant with punishment. Kids do need consequences at times or they just don't learn. Hubby is trying to take a little slower approach. The hardest part about this is when hubby gets upset with our daughter and sends to her to room ASAP when I'm trying to talk to her. Usually its when she's gotten to the point of whining and isn't listening to me anyway. I try to step back and let him discipline the way he sees fit. It's hard to let your partner discipline in their own way. As long as they aren't abusing though I see no reason that I should interfer. Hubby doesn't blow up at her really - just puts his foot down. I try to take a lesson from it. There are some times when he'll hear her freaking out over something and I'm dealing with it and not punishing her because of some other circumstance. Such as another child pinched her and she pushed them down or screams at them. He may hear the raised voices and jump in. Usually sending her to her room first. I take the brief chance to tell him of the "extenuating" circumstances and he'll alter his punishment or let her out of her room right away. If nothing it gives both her and us a moment to cool down or decide what the final punishment will be. No matter what I've learned that I can't call hubby on the carpet for too severe of a punishment right away. If I question his judgement I have to go to him quietly after she is not around and ask his reasoning. Sometimes it will make sense to me and other times I may know of a piece of information that might change his mind. Then I let him go to her to alter the punishment. We all make mistakes and can sometimes be too harsh or too lenient. I for one will always need to learn how to discipline better. Differing parenting styles comes with the territory of a couple raising children together. My own parents had different styles and yes I figured out who would let me get away with more. When it came down to it though, if it was something more serious they always seemed to provide a unified front. They back each other up. We accepted that Mom was the strict one. It didn't mean to did it all wrong. We just learned not to cross her. I think I had just as much fun with my mom as my dad even though they were different in their styles. Just my 2c. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.