Just a question. ninety09, when you were asked out by these girls, was it when you met them, or were you two already in a relationship, and she asked then?
I guess I have pretty much the same question for you Untitled. Didn't you qualify this guy you asked out first? There has to be a reason you wanted to date him instead of the guys coming to you.
To the comment about power in the relationship though. The "Power" i'm talking about is more about control, and it's difficult to have a problem with it because it always just automatically goes to the more dominate personality. If you are the type that will agree to things because it's what the other person wants to do, even though you don't yourself enjoy those things, chances are you are giving control, or power, to your partner.
To me, the person with power in a relationship is not very important if you are happy. The reason people start dating is to gain love and happiness. But I've found that when I let the girl set the terms of our relationship, I end up the one that gets the short end of the stick. This has all happened to me in my early relationships: Meet cool girl, invite to movie/dinner. Afraid of losing her, I'd validate myself in front of her, sometimes even bragging about myself. She now has power in the relationship. All subsequent meets, she can dictate the pace which the relationship escalates, leave at any time, make me buy her most things within reason. This made me miserable.
I came to the important realization I mentioned above in my last post- stop thinking about what people may think about me. Our population is split 50/50 between males and females. There are tons of girls out there, not in a relationship, looking for guys themselves, that don't do this whole "ask a guy out" thing, just because they are afraid that if they are seen sexually aggressive they will be judged and devalued. Women are NOT the prize. They enjoy being with another person and sex just as much as everyone else.
I found out quickly that when I stopped putting the girl on a pedestal, I could see how she was was only interested in what I could do for her, not that she was interested in me. *messy breakup followed* What really helped me was when I came across some sites on relationships and meeting women. I found
this site which is an amazing resource for changing the way I saw girls in general.
I recommend you go check it out, it certainly helped me.