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Hail Fremen!
You are larger than one life and at the least deserve no less than two birthdays. They will know your true birthday by the trail of mutilated dead that line roads all the way to Rome. This birthday is more sociable and for the people. I hope the thread meets your exacting birthday standards and that this post absolves me of participating in any of the day’s future acts of celebratory depravity that will no doubt occur. I am preparing a cardboard box of cash in low denominations for your other birthday. Please forgive the bloodstains. I will send a similar box to Astrocloud.
Your friend,
-GH
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