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Today was horrible. I'm so mean to my girlfriend. I just minimize her into a single behavior, and then judge that behavior, and when I determine that it is dorky or "gay", as we kids say, I just take everything out on her. I'm an ego maniac, and I make myself feel better by standing on other people, and it sucks. I realize it and I can't do anything to stop it. Every time I hear anyone say anything I just turn myself into the judge. I think: "Who am I to judge anyone?" I know it and I still do it. I wish I could just be happy. I have nothing to feel bad about, and I'm just in so much pain. I made my girlfriend cry. I told her I hated her, and I don't, but I just have these feelings. Seeing her cry made me cry, and I just couldn't stop for hours. I had to come home. I don't know what I'm going to do.
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