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Lasereth · 04-26-2004, 05:02 PM

Oh man I have a lot of hype to live up to!

Ok, so my girlfriend's mom asks me and her to go buy 8 2-liters of drinks. 5 Diet Mountain Dews, and 3 Diet Pepsis. Food Lion had the best prices with an MVP card, so we chose the Food Lion route. You can only buy 4 2-liters with one MVP card, so we each had an MVP card. My girlfriend pays for the first 4 bottles, and then I set my bottles up on the register counter.

I'm not entirely sure how the rest happened, but I'll explain it as accurately as possible: the cashier reached for the first Diet Pepsi. Now, I've seen quite a few 2-liters drop from say 5 feet and simply bounce on the ground, so if anyone wants to explain the following, feel free to do so: after reaching for the first 2-liter and knocking it onto its side, the entire mother fucking top half of the drink exploded! It didn't pop open. It didn't wine-bottle spew...this mother fucking exploded in half along the curve at the top. It cracked in half! The bottle started going around in circles on the counter, spraying EVERYTHING with Diet Pepsi. The first circle showered my legs in Diet Pepsi. That same round covered the cashier and the tabloids/candy rack. The second circle-round sprayed my entire face and head and got the cashier even more. By the second round, probably half a second had passed. This fucker was spinning like a Fourth of July rocket, all because the cashier knocked it on its side! It wasn't even in the floor! More rounds passed, while I just stood there thinking that this is the BEST day of my life. The casher finally put her hands over the Diet Pepsi, trying to conceal what was left in the bottle. That just made the Diet Pepsi streams go even further.

When the bottle had lost whatever had possessed it, there was about half a 2-liter of Diet Pepsi covering everything in a 6-8 feet radius. I told the cashier, "That was awesome!!!" She asked me why I thought it was awesome. I knew damn well that this trip would be the most exciting grocery store trip EVER. My girlfriend got another 2-liter for us. I paid with a soaked MVP card and we walked out of the store. I was licking the Diet Pepsi off of my face right afterwards. Everything below my beltline was sprayed, and my arms and face were entirely covered. It was simply a euphoric carbonated experience!

The most amazing part about the trip is trying to explain to people that the bottle literally fell onto its side. It didn't fall into the floor or anything, it simply fell over and exploded. I enjoyed the fireworks-type of dancing it did...that ensured maximum velocity and area covered.

Well, that's about it.

-Lasereth

04-26-2004, 05:02 PM	#20 (permalink)
Lasereth Knight of the Old Republic Location: Winston-Salem, NC	Oh man I have a lot of hype to live up to! Ok, so my girlfriend's mom asks me and her to go buy 8 2-liters of drinks. 5 Diet Mountain Dews, and 3 Diet Pepsis. Food Lion had the best prices with an MVP card, so we chose the Food Lion route. You can only buy 4 2-liters with one MVP card, so we each had an MVP card. My girlfriend pays for the first 4 bottles, and then I set my bottles up on the register counter. I'm not entirely sure how the rest happened, but I'll explain it as accurately as possible: the cashier reached for the first Diet Pepsi. Now, I've seen quite a few 2-liters drop from say 5 feet and simply bounce on the ground, so if anyone wants to explain the following, feel free to do so: after reaching for the first 2-liter and knocking it onto its side, the entire mother fucking top half of the drink exploded! It didn't pop open. It didn't wine-bottle spew...this mother fucking exploded in half along the curve at the top. It cracked in half! The bottle started going around in circles on the counter, spraying EVERYTHING with Diet Pepsi. The first circle showered my legs in Diet Pepsi. That same round covered the cashier and the tabloids/candy rack. The second circle-round sprayed my entire face and head and got the cashier even more. By the second round, probably half a second had passed. This fucker was spinning like a Fourth of July rocket, all because the cashier knocked it on its side! It wasn't even in the floor! More rounds passed, while I just stood there thinking that this is the BEST day of my life. The casher finally put her hands over the Diet Pepsi, trying to conceal what was left in the bottle. That just made the Diet Pepsi streams go even further. When the bottle had lost whatever had possessed it, there was about half a 2-liter of Diet Pepsi covering everything in a 6-8 feet radius. I told the cashier, "That was awesome!!!" She asked me why I thought it was awesome. I knew damn well that this trip would be the most exciting grocery store trip EVER. My girlfriend got another 2-liter for us. I paid with a soaked MVP card and we walked out of the store. I was licking the Diet Pepsi off of my face right afterwards. Everything below my beltline was sprayed, and my arms and face were entirely covered. It was simply a euphoric carbonated experience! The most amazing part about the trip is trying to explain to people that the bottle literally fell onto its side. It didn't fall into the floor or anything, it simply fell over and exploded. I enjoyed the fireworks-type of dancing it did...that ensured maximum velocity and area covered. Well, that's about it. -Lasereth __________________ "A Darwinian attacks his theory, seeking to find flaws. An ID believer defends his theory, seeking to conceal flaws." -Roger Ebert