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why would anyone walk thru a cow pasture at night ankle deep in manure to tip a cow...
...but, should you decide to don your LL Bean hip boots please print the following for your next tip trip:
1: choose a cloudy or moonless night - the darker it is, the easier it will be to approach the cow
2: find a location with the fewest cows - this will increase the chances that all the cows will be asleep
3: make sure there are NO BULLS in the pasture - bull attacks are the leading cause of injury among cow tippers - remember, bulls are cows with horns. as a safety precaution, bring a red blanket for impromptu matadoring
4: once you have found a good location, check wind direction and approach your target cow against the wind - this will make it harder for the cow to hear you
5: go for the tip - in a creeping motion, walk toward the cow, place both hands on one of its flanks, and push with a hard, but smooth stroke
6: as soon as the tip is complete, revel briefly in your success, then RUN LIKE HELL!! the tipped cow will usually wake on impact with the ground, which will awaken the other cows - sometimes a panicked stampede will follow, and that's a really bad scene
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