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Hmmm, I suppose you could learn all the "secrets" of Scientology; enslave yourself to them in exchange for a high rank and your own emeter.
Then when you owe those whackos several million dollars worth of indentured servitude, take the whole debt to one of these Christian Debt Control Corporations.
Then watch the ensuing pseudospiritual fight:
Jesus v Xenu Smackdown - tonight only on pay per view!!!!!
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