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Sorry, I forgot I created this post. I have been depressed for about a year. Alot of time I feel like I can't get up in the mornings, and then when I do I just feel like going back to sleep. I had to quit school, because I just didn't have it in me to do anything. Anything that takes any amount of effort feels like it is the equivalent of moving some huge boulder, not just physical effort I mean. The worst part is I have no idea why I'm depressed, so I don't know how to stop it. I have been on so many medications. None of them work, and I just can't stand being on them. Right now I'm in the process of quitting medication. I'd like to start running, but I'm having trouble starting anything. I don't really enjoy anything. I can't say I'm ever happy. Even like kissing my girlfriend and having sex stress me out, and feel like a chore, and I think my perception of stress has changed. Instead of the usual stress feeling it's like anguish. I don't have suicidal thoughts or thoughts of worthlessness. To me those are reactions to depression not depression itself, or essential symptoms of depressions, but to doctors they seem to be a measure of how bad one is feeling, so when I tell them I don't have those symptoms they think I'm not depressed. I told one doctor that I feel bad all the time and I don't want to get up in the morning, and she told me that I'm not depressed. I mean to everyone. I hate everyone. It sucks.
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