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My spidey sense tells me that your working environment is casting a pall on your state of mind. I've been "out there" for a few years now, and I can confidently say there are some excellent places to work to be found. Having a good rapport with your co-workers, a stable company cashflow, and a job that you like doing can give your overall state of mind quite a boost. We all go out to lunch in groups pretty much every day, and have our favorite restaurants. Our department is also roughly the same age/generation and we have like-minded pursuits. People are intelligent, personable, and professional. If this sounds like a fairy tale or an oasis, then you might want to consider looking around. I can't and won't spend half of my waking hours cooped up in a cubicle doing mindless drudgery for assholes, and this determination is, I think, largely what got me where I am today.
People settle. People compromise. Every day, in where they live, what car they drive, the people they marry. But "good enough" isn't good enough for a lot of people, and they tough it out, push a little more, and earn better rewards.
You'd be surprised how easily an intimidating barrier will simply fall over once you give it a nudge.
Anyway, I think I lost my point back there somewhere and got off on a tangent. What I'm trying to say is that there is gold in them thar hills, but you have to mine for it.
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"The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine
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