Quote:
Originally posted by skysooner
I reread your original post. Bottom line is that she isn't the fun, sexual person that you knew in college. Some of it is maturity. However, my wife is much more fun/sexual now in her mid-30s than she was in college. She isn't feeling good about herself (whether it is weight gain, unhappy job, not feeling confident of your love). If you want to make her happier, you have to accept her as she is and make her feel unconditionally loved. It is so much easier to want to "improve" yourself when you are feeling loved and accepted.
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Absolutely! If more men could do this, the divorce rate wouldn't be 50%. Loving someone means loving them for who they are, not what they are. Women tend to see flaws below the surface rather than focusing on the obvious (love handles, gray hair, wrinkles, 10-inch-long nose hairs, growing ear lobes
).
I know that if I had support and encouragement and felt that "unconditional love", I would be much more motivated to rid myself of these extra pounds. Telling a woman, or a man for that matter, you find them overweight, looking older, sexually unattractive... whatever (the list goes on and on) - is a surefire way to further reduce their self-esteem and make them feel hopeless, more overwhelmed and most of all unloved and unaccepted. Nothing could be worse I assure you, and I speak from experience.
