Quote:
Originally posted by digby
Two biscuits are sitting in an oven. The first says, "Damn it's hot in here." The other exclaims, "Holy shit! A talking biscuit!"
|
OK, I laughed out loud at that one. I'll have to remember it.
Bad jokes? I got a billion of 'em!
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese
What did the 2 year old brown cow say to the 300 pound gorilla that had just milked it?
"Moo"
How do you shoot a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun.
How do you shoot a white elephant?
Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the pool?
Bob.
What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Eilene
What if she's Asian?
Irene
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Fish.
What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra?
A bull has the horns up front and the ass in the rear.
What's the difference between boogers and brocolli?
Kids won't eat brocolli.
What's the first thing that went through the bug's mind when it hit the windshield?
It's butt.
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Last one of the evening:
God called the Pope and said He was thinking about unifying the world under one single religion. The Pope said "That's a great idea God!"
God said, "Good. Then you won't mind that I'm calling you from Salt Lake City."