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I reread your original post. Bottom line is that she isn't the fun, sexual person that you knew in college. Some of it is maturity. However, my wife is much more fun/sexual now in her mid-30s than she was in college. She isn't feeling good about herself (whether it is weight gain, unhappy job, not feeling confident of your love). If you want to make her happier, you have to accept her as she is and make her feel unconditionally loved. It is so much easier to want to "improve" yourself when you are feeling loved and accepted.
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