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What is the real problem? The fact that she has gained a few pounds since you guys met or the fact that she doesn't feel as good about herself as she used to?
If you are constantly thinking that she is overweight, even if you don't say anything about it, it will weigh on the relationship. She can't help but feel bad about herself when the signals she gets from you are that she doesn't look the way you want her to.
Try to repair the relationship and help her lose weight at the same time. Spend more time with her and try to get her to join you in activities that will give her the exercise you think she needs. If you try to drag her to the gym or tell her she needs to go all the time then she probably can't help thinking she needs to loose some weight. Take her for a bike ride, skiing, hiking, or if those are too active for here just ask her to take a walk with you. If the exercise is more of a secondary effect of spending time with you she migth feel better about it.
Since you are already eating healthy, you could make meals that are big enough for the both of you. Everyone likes when someone else cooks for them.
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