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Listen. I just left a relationship like this. I'm not sure how you are handling it, but the pressure my ex was feeling due to my wanting sex when she didn't "feel sexy", drove her away.
It became more of a chore then fun for her, which in the end, enabled some other smooth talking bastard to sweep her off her feet.
So you've been dating for 4 years, if it's that important to you, then focus on other things. Plan extravagant weekends where sex isn't the focus, nor is it mentioned. You may find yourself pleasantly surprised. If she feels that it's her choice, her decision, and you're not pressuring her about it, things may do a full 180.
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He who is void of virtuous attachments in private life is, or very soon will be, void of all regard for his country.
There is seldom an instance of a man guilty of betraying his country, who had not before lost the feeling of moral obligations in his private connections.
-Samuel Adams
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