Rape fantasies give many repressed women an "out" for the guilt of being seuxal beings. If they give themselves the illusion of being out of control they can enjoy what is going on. Other women like the excitement and danger of rough/ forced sex. Every person is wired a bit differently. Some ppl have pain/pleasure receptors that overlap and they experience pleasure with the pain of getting whipped/pinched/etc. I think the mental illness is saying these ppl aren't allowed to express themselves in a way that pleases them.
BDSM is a relationship of extreme trust and power exchange. The sub wants to be dominated by someone powerful, possibly molded into a better person by a "caring sadist". You can love someone and have the desire to cause pain to others. It's all about control. If you respect the boundaries of your partner, then it can be a healthly relationship.
The Submissive's Bill Of Rights:
http://www.frugaldomme.com/etiquette/dometi10.htm#
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I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince
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