Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - CONTEST: Excuses to prevent my in-laws from moving in with us

greytone · 04-05-2004, 04:12 PM

I think you are going about this all wrong. You have to let them know how you are really looking forward to them moving in. After all, this is a great opportunity for you to make some headway in life. When that many people and animals come under one roof however, there can be a lot of stress. Since your relationship is so important, you need so set up some very clear guidelines so that there will be no hard feelings.

1) Clearly define expectations with regards to housekeeping. With so many people under one roof, it is critical that things are kept ship shape and your "roomates" need to know going in what is expected of them daily and weekly.

2) This will be a financial burden. They need to know they will need to buy food and cover utilities including phone, cable, and internet service. They WILL also have to cover some of your house payments as rent to cover your loss of use. Clearly define what they will have to pay you before they move in. Also let them know if you expect this weekly or monthly.

3) Make sure they know about restrictions on the use of the house. Do you deal with shift work or have other sleep issues they will have to be considerate of? Do you entertain or will they be allowed to entertain. When I had a house guest for 6 months I screamed at the morons that would call him at midnight.....after I had been on call for several nights in a row and had to get up in 4 or 5 hours. He spread the word to his friends that calling after 9 was simply not acceptable.

Once you have had an adult discussion touching on all these issues, you can look forward to having some help around the house and a little cash to put towards retirement and build your relationship with your family.

04-05-2004, 04:12 PM	#70 (permalink)
greytone Junkie	I think you are going about this all wrong. You have to let them know how you are really looking forward to them moving in. After all, this is a great opportunity for you to make some headway in life. When that many people and animals come under one roof however, there can be a lot of stress. Since your relationship is so important, you need so set up some very clear guidelines so that there will be no hard feelings. 1) Clearly define expectations with regards to housekeeping. With so many people under one roof, it is critical that things are kept ship shape and your "roomates" need to know going in what is expected of them daily and weekly. 2) This will be a financial burden. They need to know they will need to buy food and cover utilities including phone, cable, and internet service. They WILL also have to cover some of your house payments as rent to cover your loss of use. Clearly define what they will have to pay you before they move in. Also let them know if you expect this weekly or monthly. 3) Make sure they know about restrictions on the use of the house. Do you deal with shift work or have other sleep issues they will have to be considerate of? Do you entertain or will they be allowed to entertain. When I had a house guest for 6 months I screamed at the morons that would call him at midnight.....after I had been on call for several nights in a row and had to get up in 4 or 5 hours. He spread the word to his friends that calling after 9 was simply not acceptable. Once you have had an adult discussion touching on all these issues, you can look forward to having some help around the house and a little cash to put towards retirement and build your relationship with your family. __________________ I was there to see beautiful naked women. So was everybody else. It's a common failing. Robert A Heinlein in "They Do It With Mirrors"