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Old 04-05-2004, 02:52 PM   #68 (permalink)
DelayedReaction
BFG Builder
 
Location: University of Maryland
Roaches. This should work if he shows up, or as a deterrent.

Step 1) Call your brother up and ask him if they know any good roach places. Emphasize just how bad the infestation is. Beg and plead with him to recommend a good roach killer.

Step 2) If they're inside, start having roaches appear. Just drop them on the ground, have them scurry a bit, and step on them. Make sure your family starts carrying cans of Raid with them, "just in case."

Step 3) Get the Orkin Man involved. Call him over, and tell him that you need to make the house look like it's absolutely infested. I'm sure he'll find some ways. If your relatives moved in, make sure he's as loud about how bad the infestation is as possible.

Step 4) The incident. Pick a closet that's closed off except for one entrance, preferably in a non-carpeted area. A cleaning supply closet in a hallway would be best (your goal here is to have a small area with only one entrance, you'll understand after reading on). Next, find some roaches at a pet store. Big roaches. Fill up a giant glass jar with them, seal the top, and put the jar inside the closet. Set it up so that it'll fall after a few minutes. Have some cans of Raid nearby.

Make sure your brother (and wife) is nearby when the glass jar shatters on the floor, spilling the roaches out. They should stream out the door.

Start spraying, make sure you get all of them. The site of all those roaches streaming out of the closet should be enough to freak anyone out.

Couple things. Roaches are actually pretty clean, so don't worry about them spreading disease and whatnot. They also don't bite, or cause much harm. Just make sure you kill all of them (hence the non-carpeted floor and small closet with one entrance) so you don't get a real infestation on your hand.

Hope that works!
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