First, I hope you tell us which way you choose. Although I agree that the best way is to be upfront and firm, that doesn't always work.
My suggestion, draw up a legal contract, insisting that they sign it in front of a notary prior to moving in. Include in it: pet deposits, cleaning fees, room charges, their share of utilities, "house" rules and expectations, late charges, etc. Insist that they put down some sort of collateral (their new home maybe?) not because you are mean, but because most legal documents call for it. Then stick by the contract! At least then, if they do move in, you are empowered to act if they infringe any further and/or leave the place a mess. My bet though, is that they will not want to go through the stress of signing the document and would rather pay rent on their own place and have their privacy.
How to present it: I care so much about our relationship that I don't want anything to come between us. I know how stressful it can be for two couples to live together, so to save from their being any hard feelings, I drew up a living arangement agreement. There is a notary at _________, what time can you meet me there to sign it? I'll give you a copy now so that you can read it prior to our meeting.
Good luck!
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If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god
It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.
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