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raeanna74 · 04-03-2004, 07:38 PM

I'm in the same place as you are pretty much. I almost feel resentful that I know I can't trust some/many people to be cool about what hubby and I do.

I'm bisexual, married, and hubby and I are swingers. My brother and his wife are vaguely aware of our relationship status. They're cool with it. As a matter of fact my sister-in-law is Bi too and my brother says "You're an adult. It's your choice what to do with you life. It's none of their (our parents) business what you do." He doesn't tell them what we do. We don't give details where we're going or what we're doing. We also don't ask many people to babysit who aren't aware of what we do. I do keep things quiet when related to the parents of the children I watch though 3 out of 6 of the parents I've dealt with in the past year are swingers as well (Two of them, we found out about their lifestyle AFTER I'd babysat for them - Cool) I feel in my position to have "deviant" sexual appitites might give people reason to question my responsibility with regards to children. Of course my sexual lifestyle will never have anything to do with the children I care for or my sense of responsibility to them. It's just that I know people nowadays can't/don't completely understand and so I don't risk spreading the knowledge around. I don't think some people could ever really understand the complexities of our relationship without being there tried it. I wouldn't have until I tried it. It's like looking into a fish bowl from the outside versus the inside - totally different look to things.

I just share with those that I know I can trust to at least not judge. Otherwise I don't share. It's my personal/sexual life and not everyone needs to or has a right to know what I do with it. You wouldn't share with everyone you know that you enjoy spankings during sex if that was your thing. But you'd still enjoy it. It's not lying. It's personal. Anyone who asks that you can't trust or don't want to tell - they just plain don't need to know. You can simply tell them that it's personal and you'd like to keep it that way. I don't see anything wrong with not "coming out". It's not like I'm living any different than I would if I "came out". I'd live the same.

04-03-2004, 07:38 PM	#20 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	I'm in the same place as you are pretty much. I almost feel resentful that I know I can't trust some/many people to be cool about what hubby and I do. I'm bisexual, married, and hubby and I are swingers. My brother and his wife are vaguely aware of our relationship status. They're cool with it. As a matter of fact my sister-in-law is Bi too and my brother says "You're an adult. It's your choice what to do with you life. It's none of their (our parents) business what you do." He doesn't tell them what we do. We don't give details where we're going or what we're doing. We also don't ask many people to babysit who aren't aware of what we do. I do keep things quiet when related to the parents of the children I watch though 3 out of 6 of the parents I've dealt with in the past year are swingers as well (Two of them, we found out about their lifestyle AFTER I'd babysat for them - Cool) I feel in my position to have "deviant" sexual appitites might give people reason to question my responsibility with regards to children. Of course my sexual lifestyle will never have anything to do with the children I care for or my sense of responsibility to them. It's just that I know people nowadays can't/don't completely understand and so I don't risk spreading the knowledge around. I don't think some people could ever really understand the complexities of our relationship without being there tried it. I wouldn't have until I tried it. It's like looking into a fish bowl from the outside versus the inside - totally different look to things. I just share with those that I know I can trust to at least not judge. Otherwise I don't share. It's my personal/sexual life and not everyone needs to or has a right to know what I do with it. You wouldn't share with everyone you know that you enjoy spankings during sex if that was your thing. But you'd still enjoy it. It's not lying. It's personal. Anyone who asks that you can't trust or don't want to tell - they just plain don't need to know. You can simply tell them that it's personal and you'd like to keep it that way. I don't see anything wrong with not "coming out". It's not like I'm living any different than I would if I "came out". I'd live the same. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.