You cannot compare a message board to feeding your family. Its an entirely different dimension.
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yes, I looked for a job. I was laid off and unemployed for close to 1 year. I have long hair to my waist which instantly makes it next to impossible for me to work in a financial company because of their dress code. So I had to make a choice at some point in time, either I cut my hair and try to be presentable enough to get hired by a financial company, or keep my hair. I chose to keep it, this time, but there was a time in my life that I had to abide by a different set of rules and I chose to NOT cut it. MY CHOICE. I had people offering me jobs ask me if I would cut it, and I said sure, you put an offer letter in my hand and I'll cut my hair the moment I sign it. For some reason I never got those offer letters.
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So you've also experienced troubles related to this yet you see nothing wrong with it. That totally baffles me.
All of these things are bullshit as are many things in society. The only way to change this is for people to get sick of it and say that they won't stand for it any more.
Your situation is different from the topic. You can't take away the long hair when you're at work. People are able to not smoke while they are at work. It may suck, but they can and will do it.