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It may be harsh, but in this day and age you've gotta look out for yourself.
Take the job in Tucson. Don't move there permanently yet; rent the cheapest possible room, and keep your stuff either in your old place or in storage. Maintain your old address or have somebody forward calls for you, or have them forwarded. If the defense job appears, grab it and kiss Tucson goodbye.
And if you feel bad about this, know that employers play the opposite side of the game all the time -- keep qualified applicants on the hook while they see if they can find somebody equally qualified for less money, and other such tactics. Just remove the software firm from your resume and tell future employees that you spent the X month gap in your resume traveling.
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