Well, to address a few posts at once, and, BTW, thanks for the replies and input, I need and outlet for this stuff, and I just don't know anyone where I am at to have an outlet.
First, off, I do share my feelings with her, as much as I can. She means the world to me. There just seems like so much going on at once right now, that it is, well, overwhelming. Fear and doubt are fucking killers. I try to fight them off, but well, I've never had what you could call a truely happy view of the world. Looking on the bright side of things is still an exersize in will power for me. Used to be I would just sit down and write a poem about my woes, and get the demons out thatway, but writers block has been a friend of mine for years now. So, now, it's annoying the nice, and sometimes no so nice, people like you all that helps me power out my issues. So, I play with my fear and doubt till I've find an angel that I can use to over come it. Maybe it's just emotinal masacisim. Love is a real fucking bitch. Amazing how something so damn good can fuck with you so damn bad. But, I'm still carryin on. One foot in front of the other. I think this is the point I'm supposed to say something cleaver to bring this all to a nice clean ending and sound oh so witty and smart, but I'm just to damn tired right now, so, if you think of a good comment to fill in at the end of it, feel free to let me know. Maybe I'll use it at the end of my next pointless rant.
