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I know when I got married I didn't think "oh goodie, a project! Now I can change everything I don't like about him!" In the course of living together, we both noticed things about the other person that hadn't been issues before, because we hadn't been living in the same space 24/7 before. I'm one of those people who puts back boxes of cereal with only 1/2 a bowl left, rather than throw it out. Annoys the heck out of him (or did, before he started doing Atkins; now he couldn't care less about the cereal). He puts dishes on the counter rather than straight into the dishwasher. Drove me nuts. Some things we learned to change, some things we just learned to shrug off and not let bother us.
There are also just a lot of details that matter more in the female universe than they matter in the male universe (like what color socks you wear with what color shoes), and when you agree to merge those universes, there's some negotiation that has to go on about which of those details are worth fighting over. There's also a fair deal of power negotiation that goes on disguised as quibbling over these little details. My advice is to remember to argue about what you're arguing about (picking up socks) and not let it turn into camouflage for another issue (you're just like my mother you harpy bitch).
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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