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I don't care how well endowed the guy is, if he's gross looking, I'm not going to get into it.
Also, when there's not even an attempt at a storyline...I know, it's about the sex, not the story, but a little bit of backstory would be nice...
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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
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