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I was once in a friend's wedding, and we all got gold plated money clips. Very useful gift - I wish I knew what happened to it.
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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.
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