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There is alot of strong imagry there, and some really good ideas, but its also really fractured. It's har to keep the flow of a story in check and the reader's understanding up with a fractured narrative but when you can do it, it rocks..
I love some of the ideas though, and I'd really like to see more if you ever find interest in it
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"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death
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