cynicalgrrlll

She called him up after she had been studying for her Italian exam. She needed to get out of her cramped apartment and away from her mother’s endless nagging. She called to see if he was interested in going out for coffee, she was pleasantly surprised when he answered the telephone since he usually wasn’t at home. He agreed and she quickly got ready to go pick him up. She felt incredibly light and playful all of a sudden and thought about suggesting they walk to the coffeehouse after she arrived at his apartment. They had recently gone on a picnic, the first one she had ever been on with a boy. Never mind that they had already slept together, this was different, the others hadn’t taken her on picnics afterwards. She drove quickly over to his apartment but had to park behind another car in the driveway since all the parking spaces were already occupied. When she reached the door she noticed a yellow post it sticking to it. The note explained the he was in the shower and to let herself in.
She was slightly annoyed at the way he signed the note, just with the first letter of his first name. She let herself in and heard movement upstairs and called up to it. He peered over the railing of the stairs with no shirt explaining he would be right down. She normally would have gone upstairs to his room herself but heard a female voice speaking in the background and figured that his sister was speaking to him and decided to sit downstairs so as not to interrupt their conversation.
She sat on the couch and pet his sister’s black cat as she waited for him to finish. She waited for about ten minutes and noticed that the female voice was starting to sound a little too sensual to be a sister’s. Her stomach tightened up and she shifted nervously, staring at her appearance in the patio’s reflective glass door. She began to stare at the front door as if it had a neon lit exit sign over it. Finally he came downstairs her relief was immense to see that he was alone; maybe she had been confused about the sister. He asked the invisible party if they too would mind going for coffee. She became nervous once more, not having spoken to his sister much she hoped that the sister would like her. He then asked if she minded if the female voice, still not identified, could join them. Since the voice had already agreed her etiquette forced her to say that was fine, even though she preferred spending time with him alone. She expected to see his petite soft spoken sister emerge but instead someone else did. He rushed upstairs to get something after introducing them, she forgot the other girl’s name the minute she heard it her fear was so intense. Her mind immediately went to work discerning possibilities. She tried to think friend but she knew he always took a shower after they had sex. Why did he invite her over even though he had another girl here? She knew he didn’t like being tied down but she had thought the picnic had been special. Then the hostility and fight or flight instinct set in.
She calmly resumed her position on the couch quivering on her insides while the other girl stood at the bottom on the stairs. She felt no ill will toward the other girl she probably didn’t know this was going to happen either. She tried to talk to her about every day occurrences but speech wasn’t her strong suit at this point in time. He came back downstairs and tried to make small talk involving them both. She ignored him and reached over the back of the couch to continue petting the cat, the cat playfully batted at her hand with his paw, she wished his claw would slip and scratch her to put her mind elsewhere. Her mind continued swimming with the possibilities of escape until they were all outside, she decided that if her etiquette was going to inhibit her actions that least she could do was drive her own car to the coffee bar as not to prolong this nightmare. She happened to have parked behind the other girl’s car and they all ended up driving in her car. Her laughter was forced as she drove with the other girl in the front seat and him in the back. He wasn’t choosing favorites yet or he was just being polite. They arrived at the coffee house she stood apart from him and the girl, letting them need each other to talk to, already taking herself out of the frame. They sat down outside after ordering she actually lead them outside so she could smoke. They chatted to each other about subjects she thought were dull, she injected comments between lung fulls of smoke. They spoke about certain subjects such as drugs and travel to try to impress each other. The other girl smoked too and she offered her a cigarette and a light. She left them to go inside to get her drink.
The drink had been made some time ago and was left sitting alone and unattended. Before she picked it up she went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror the hickey he had given her the day before was huge and glaring on her swan like neck. She pulled out her hair elastic to try to cover it but thought that looked to obvious, she had noticed the other girl’s hickey too; her hair was too short to hide it. She thought about running to her car and leaving with no explanation but noticed that even though she had her purse, the cigarettes were still on their table with her lighter. She didn’t have enough money to buy more after buying that damn trendy coffee that upset her stomach and knew she would need them to get through tonight and tomorrow. She took her drink and returned to the table to her only friend, her cigarette pack.
The other two were engaged in a conversation, so she stared past him at the passing cars wishing she could crawl into one and be comforted by a stranger. She watched him stare at the other girl and then try to make eye contact with her. She avoided his gaze at all costs and he was forced to concentrate on the other girl, already knowing she was gone. He was trying to take something wrong and make it seem okay, like it was an accident that couldn’t have been avoided.
Once again after sucking down her drink her etiquette forced her ask if they needed a ride back home. They said no that they would walk, they had obviously found each other as soul mates or at least he had found another girl that could tolerate his infidelity. She threw away her empty cup and walked to her car where she proceed to blast her radio and finish smoking all the cigarettes from her pack